Animosity at Japanese class

Last night was the first Japanese class since the Easter break. There were four of us there, including Emiko my teacher. I really enjoy learning Japanese, and I want to learn more and more. I have learnt a lot this year, especially when I visited Japan. However, I haven't really concentrated on it recently because I got behind on the work I wanted to do quite early on in the year.

I'm looking forward to the summer break because I will be able to learn the subjects I want to learn in the time and order I want to learn them in. Then I'll be ready for the start of the new year in September!

Last night's lesson was fairly eventful because David, an old man to whom I give a lift to and from Japanese, had had a couple of glasses of wine before I picked him up. He was noticeably slurring his words and was mumbling most of the time. I was pretty sure he would be quiet in the class, or fall asleep, or something. I hoped at least!

When David takes a dislike to someone, he is normally a little vocal about it but never offensive. That is until last night when Bob, a Columbian who David constantly complains to me, corrected David (in a very friendly manner) instead of waiting for Emiko. David, with his Dutch courage, responded with "Shut up Bob! I'm getting totally pissed off with you! Emiko is the teacher, not you!" And, for the following 2 hours David was mumbling about "not being bothered to do anything and considering going home".

Bob obliged by not interacting with David at all for the rest of the night. He wasn't upset about it at all, but I could see that David was contorted with dislike for the man! In the car after the lesson, David referred to Bob as "A f*cking conceited c*nt", language I would not expect for a man in his seventies!

I was a bystander for most of this and I was able to learn lessons from it:

• Don't let yourself get wound up about someone else because the other person will probably not care - Bob certainly didn't!
• Reacting nastily will just cause the other person to respect you less, and make things worse for future interactions - I doubt Bob has very much respect at all for David!
• You are only going to spoil things for yourself if you get upset about someone who has every right to be there too - David had a crap lesson. Bob and I just continued as normal.

If someone is upsetting you then dealing with it calmly, privately and directly with them. This should help you and the other person save face, e.g. "Bob, I don't really like it when you correct me. Will you let Emiko give me the answer first and if she doesn't know then you can help"